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Exhaling
Friday February 22, 2008
Wow..I've been a rollercoaster of emotions lately, Up, Down, Up, Down, making me insane. LOL LOL
I tell ya, if it's the big Menopause, it needs to make up it's damn mind lol lol, cause if it don't, I'll be joining my friends in the meds line soon lol lol.
Seriously, in an instance I'm like so down, then another moment I'm like so disliking everything someone does, no patience at all, then in another I'm just as frisky as a cat,,"Which by the way, that's the mood I'm in right now, Meow, Frisky". which is what I guess you would call me normally lol . Oh and not to mention, feeling like I've got fever when I don't. Ain't it just grand being a Woman!!!!!...
Well, guess it would be good to be able to blame it on the big M, cause what I've seen in some of my so call friends, well, lets just say, they have lost their freaking minds. LOL LOL....
Speaking of so call friends, I've been running into some lately, and wow, I get such a kick out of them. Smile. I find it so funny, back in the day, these same ppl who were like so close with each other, and like totally ditching me out, now, seem to want to eat each other alive. lol.. and then get this, I'm the good guy now, hahahaha. Well, I've grown up a bit since those 17 and 18 yr old days, and I surely say what's on my mind. I shocked the heck out of one of these gals. She was in her sorta kinda way of apologizing I guess for the way she treated me back when, and it just came right out my mouth without one moment of thought...LOL..I told her that it was just fine, that I didn't like her just as much as she didn't like me back when. LOL LOL...You should have seen her eyes, like huge, almost popped out her head, in shock!!! I guess she thought that I just adored her back when, that I was just the dumb blonde in a group of brunettes who didn't catch on to their sly ways...lol..Well surprise girlie, I wasn't and still not.
Now before you jump to telling me how wrong I was, you just have to know this gal, she has not changed one bit. Oh yea, maybe she gives out these confessions of old, but, she so loves to stir the pot. So I guess she just got back what she was cooking huh.
You, know I try to let go of a lot of things, but we all know that even though we have grown up, and maybe even forgiven up to a point some of the ppl who have hurt us in the past, but, there is this lil bitty place in the corner of our heart that wants to get even, or just loves seeing when another gets back what they have been dishing out. Oh yeah, don't ya'll deny it. lol lol even the best of us feel it.
Besides, these feelings of good and bad, of nutty past friends, I've been nursing my family back from the Flu. I tell ya, it surely has been a season of it. But, it seems we are on the better side of it for the moment. I even got out the house the other day and headed over to the next town, did some shopping for my youngest's birthday. I felt so wonderful, like I could breath like I was just walking on air, felt so good. Thank God, he knew I was about to loose it all, and he gave me a moment of sanity. How long will it last, who knows, cause the rain has come again, and it means house trapped again.
Well, guess back to my rollercoaster I go. See ya at the top .
| | Posted by SammyJo at 7:49 PM - | |
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Saturday February 16, 2008
Blah Blah Blah....LOL LOL...
OMG!!..I'm probably going to stick my foot so deep, but jeepers!!!! We go around telling our youth it's time to grow up, to put aside such childish things, and then I look at what's supposed to be adults, and choke on what I see and hear!!!!!!!!!!! We talk about Love, and forgiviness and that all are God's children no matter what, and then I see so much of the opposite!!! How Hyprocritcal is that?? And yeap, I'm talking about the stream too!!!
He did this, and she said that, and I had it first, OMG!!!! PPL, PPL,PPL!!!
I used to love to come here and blog, and read all the stories, yea, even the not so true ones. But, it seems lately it has become a playground of childish bickering . I thought blogging was to vent and tell of things that we can't say in our lives outside the computer not to judge or be judge.
I hear and read such well spoken words, what good are they, if one can turn about and use such vindictiveness toward others???
I don't know, so much negative lately.
I met a young girl about 24 yrs of age the other day, and I of course asked her how she was doing. All that I heard was such negativity. It really made me think, how much of this is brought on because of our example.
I just don't know, maybe my lil piss ant words don't mean a thing, and then again, do I really care anymore. For the moment this is still my blog, and I guess whether the words make sense or not, it's what I want to write.
| | Posted by SammyJo at 9:29 PM - | |
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Saturday February 9, 2008
Okay now. This blog is going to be full of different subjects, ideas, opinions, just crazy things. lol
First, I'm trying to teach myself to type as a persay normal one, lol, trying not to use all them lil dots lol lol. I've got to say though, it is hard hard hard lol lol. It's amazing how you can habit yourself to things.
Well first on my list: I'm feeling so much better, I was so sick for over 2weeks. I know I really didn't let on how bad I was feeling, but man it was bad. But, I am so feeling like myself again, "Praise God".
Oh, and June, I found something to do with my time to feel as I am giving back. I will be volunteering as a Pink Lady at the Hospital. Maybe it don't seem like a big thing, but, it's a start right. And I'm so excited about it. Woot!!
And let me tell you another thing. I don't know if anyone remembers, but, the girl that my eldest son was dating, the one I surely didn't get along with, "putting it mildly", well, believe it or not, I'm actually starting to like her somewhat, lol lol. They are no longer dating, well, they date, but not steady. She doesn't want to give him up. My son wants to make sure of things first. He dates around, but, when she dates another guy, he likes to have a cow. lol lol . The other nite she went on a date with another guy, and my son was sick like a dog. I told him, don't want her because someone else wants her, and don't want her because others think you should be together, want her because you want her, because you truly love her. And then I told him, if you truly do want her, and don't want to loose her, then go and get her!!! Then go from there, don't plan any marriage, for school is first of importance, just let time tell. Now don't get me wrong, I still see things I don't care for, but I also see her trying to be different, trying to come around. And I'm doing the same. I surely don't want to be like my in-laws. "Oh Hell No!!!"
Now on a totally different matter: and I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but, this one really gets to me. But, you know there are so many out there who have been hurt by so many things, and their lives are in such desperation. So, it just angers me so, when I see someone use such things to their benefit, to use the threat of taking their own life as a way of controlling or manipulating another person. I believe that because of ppl like that, the ones who really need the help who are really thinking of doing it, are overlooked. I know this from experience, so when a person continually says these things, I just want to slap the crap out of them. It is no game!!!!!!!!!!! "Just so it be known, I'm not talking of anyone here on the stream, it is someone I know of."
So, have your eyes gotten tired yet, lol, I don't write for a long time, and then here I am writing forever and about so many different things lol. That's my mind at it's best lol. Surprisingly, it's still my own, no drugs in it as of yet lol.
Suspicion, is something going on in my head right now with my hubby. Yeap, he made me think something is going on with him and a female at his job. Not so much as what he said, just a feeling you get. From what I know of this female, she is a wild child, and I mean child, only in her 20's, I think 25. How sad huh. And you know, my feelings are not of jealously, they are just of disgust. He needs to watch his step, for I'm changing everyday, and my heart does yearn for another.
Ahhhhhh!!...that felt so good. All that crammed in my mind, now out on the loose. LOL LOL But, please don't misunderstand, I'm actually feeling good as of this moment, so strange, in some strange way, all these happenings just seem to make me awake more and more, and make me stronger, at least for the moment.
As Azron said to me:
"Shine where you are planted" And that's exactly what I plan on doing. Yeah Baby!!!
| | Posted by SammyJo at 2:38 PM - | |
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Saturday February 2, 2008
I've been not feeling so well these past few weeks...some I think has to do with being actually sick..and some I think has to do with emotions...surely can bring a person down..Just so many things on my mind..doubts..missing..confused..I've locked myself away in this house for over 2wks..sitting at the computer..just playing around with music..some reading..just getting out to get my kids..and a quick stop at the store..I've tried praying..but..I've sorta been upset with him too..wondering why for so many reasons...
Well..one of those days..I talked with my Mom for over an hour on the phone..and..I just cried and told her of how I've been feeling...and let me tell ya..God spoke thru her that day....I guess I'm still trying to do his job....and need to be reminded that..I have my own to do..and to leave the rest up to him..I can't fix it all..I don't think I'll ever fully understand why for many of things..but..I have to stop letting it bring me down..I guess like he said..the road to heaven is very narrow..and sometimes I have to let him lead...I am so glad that he doesn't give up on me..the way I tend to do to him..These past few days..he showed me that he isn't going to leave me..by using my mom..and my friends...and I am so grateful to him for that...
This came to me by a friend....Now..you tell me if God wasn't talking to me..and now..he is talking to someone else who needs him...Read what he says to you...
Ten Guidelines From God
Effective Immediately, please be aware that there are changes YOU need to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be completed in order that I may fulfill My promises to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in this life. I apologize for any inconvenience, but after all that I am doing, this seems very little to ask of you. Please, follow these 10 guidelines:
Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?
Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can't help you until you turn it over to Me. And although My to-do-list is long, I am after all... God. I can take care of anything you put into My hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.
Once you've given your burdens to Me, quit trying to take them back. Trust in Me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on My list. Problem with finances? Put it on My list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For My sake, put it on My list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.
Don't wake up one morning and say, 'Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think I can handle it from here.' Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It's simple. You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with Me and forget about them. Just let Me do my job.
I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I'm in control. But there's one thing I pray you never forget. Please, don't forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU! I want to hear your voice. I want you to include Me in on the things going on in your life. I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having a conversation with Me. I want to be your dearest friend.
I see a lot of things from up here that you can't see from where you are. Have faith in Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me; you wouldn't want the view from My eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me. Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?
You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joy with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who haven't heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith with those who have none.
I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences. You grew from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes Me a little longer than you expect to handle something on My to do list? Trust in My timing, for My timing is perfect. Just because I created the universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, rush.
Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along, for My sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical.
As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for on reason only: to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of love. Love me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself. It makes My heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me. Don't ever forget it!
| | Posted by SammyJo at 9:47 PM - | |
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