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Exhaling
Tuesday November 21, 2006
I made it through the nite at work...I must confess though..I didn't do much of anything...LOL..We had plenty of people working last nite in our dept. so I sorta moved around to each and picked up and straighten up...I don't know if I said before..but I work at the good old Wal Mart......Old yeah...Good Nope...LOL...They never hire enough people because they prefer to use us up instead of paying more people...I got hired to do one job and ended up doing many different jobs......Hey they say that Wal Mart has great low prices...and guess what else...They have Multitasking for the great Low Pay too....LOL LOL....
I started this job 4 years ago for a little extra pay and to get out of the house... since my baby was so young...it was better hours for me instead of going back to the school and doing my interpreting and having to leave him in a day care which never in a million years would I make the mistake of doing again..."I had a really bad experience with the 14 year old in a day care when he was around a year and half old"....at the time my hubby was working days..so he watched the kids at nite...but of course things change after a few years and boom..we both ended up working nites...the eldest was good at tending to the 2 younger ones..so it was ok then...but of course he started college and the 14 year old does it now...which I've talked about...some problems...working on it..some good days some bad....
Now that the baby is in Kindergarten I do some subbing in the schools...and I am now waiting for an opening to become an aid in the schools....Did the test...Passed it...just waiting for that opening...then it will be days working and yes off holidays and summer...Just waiting for it...I could go back to the Interpreting but that means going out of town to work in those schools....I prefer to stay in my own town...close to where my kids are....be more involve with our own school system....I guess career is not my main goal...my kids and family is number 1 on my list...I did however once before want to be a Veterinarian...I do so love animals...maybe when the youngest is older I will pursue it..who knows..I prob have grandchildren by then and will want to spend my time with them...yeap...prob so....
I prob could quit my job and still survive..but..my extra income really helps out...especially with the kids getting older and in college and in band...well you know how it goes...I can't blame all on them...I love to spend too...lol....and besides it gives me a reason to get up and get dressed....lol..
Wow...was I in a talking mood....LOL...Just a little bit about me...I had plan on blogging about how nutty the people are at work..and how on my way home from there..I just couldn't help but laugh and laugh at how crazy people are...LOL LOL...but..hey..you never know what the mind will lead you to say or do...Hope my little life wasn't too boring for ya..because Lord knows it's sure not for me...LOL...
And now I must stop my jabbering and get dressed...going to the dentist with the eldest and then off to the mall for a day of fun...and shopping..with the boys...Hope to see Santa...
| | Posted by SammyJo at 1:02 PM - | |
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Monday November 20, 2006
Ok..Breath...Breath...Ok..SammyJo...You can do it..Yes I can...LOL LOL....been feeling rather sad these passing days...but now it is time to grab my boot straps and kick that old sadness away..at least for the day...I already took off 2 days from work and had planned on taking this day off to...but you know what..I can't keep hiding...hiding from the world..mainly hiding from myself...This is not me...Oh heck no...surely is not...besides..after tonite I am off for 2 more days...lol...and plan on spending it with my boys doing DR things and yes indeed shopping...shopping for Christmas....I love Christmas...
I know Christmas has forever changed because of life...because of all that has happened..but...I have to go on...Seeing so many of you gong through similar things and some even worst happenings and you all are so strong...and never give up...never stop smiling and loving...You all are such an inspiration to me...I want to thank you all...Especially my first buddy LFL whom I just love along with many many others she has touched with her kindness...I love all my new friends...PJ and Junebug you both are such strong women and are going through so much and I admire you both for how you handle yourselves...with Love...dignity...and pride...and most of all Faith!!!!
Ok...Ok..enough of that mushy stuff...I don't want to make anyone cry today...today is a good day...and to add some silly stuff to this blog...I am posting a silly Cajun joke...I hope it doesn't offend anyone..I just thought it was funny...Besides did you not know that Boudreaux and Thibodeaux are a big part of Cajuns...LOL LOL
----- CAJUN PREGNANCY
Way down in Louisiana , Boudreaux's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. So he brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy and the doctor looked over at Boudreaux and said, "Hey, Boudreaux! You just had you-self a son! Ain't dat grand!"
Boudreaux got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, "Hold on! We ain't finished yet!" The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said, "Hey, Boudreaux! Yougot you-self a daughter! She a pretty lil ting, too."
Boudreaux got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, "Hold on, we still ain't got done yet!" The doctor then delivered another boy and said, "Boudreaux, you just had you-self another boy!"
When Boudreaux and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said, "Mama, you remember dat night what we run out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere tree-in-one Oil?"
His wife said, "Yeah, I do!" Boudreaux said, "Phew, it's a darn good ting we didn't never use no WD-forty."
| | Posted by SammyJo at 4:06 PM - | |
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Sunday November 19, 2006
Just a little sense of humor...which I have been lacking these passing days....
Our friend Junebug along with many others including myself on this blogstream...have been having a real tough time these passing weeks...So..I thought a little smile may help and also a song which I think is really good...talking about the page is clear...that our lives are unwritten...we make what we make of it...of course with God right there with the white out to help us along the way if we make a few errors.....
Hope all our days get much better....
OH Yeah...P.S...Hey LFL with the help of PJ...all my songs will not play at the same time anymore...LOL...Whew..I know it was such a noisey page there for a while...LOL..but now only one song at a time.....Thanks....Love ya guys....:-)
 
| | Posted by SammyJo at 6:24 PM - | |
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Saturday November 18, 2006
These past few days I have really been feeling sorry for myself...I don't even really know why....I just know that I sat in my truck undecided if I was going to go into my job or just head home and stay...I decided to go on in...on my lunch hour I did the same thing..but again went on back to work...I know I did the right thing but I was so unhappy this nite...I didn't smile to much that nite...I even over heard a customer saying as she passed me by..."why don't the workers smile" I couldn't help myself..I replied "because we are not happy" I always smile....even when I feel like crap...I have been working now 4 years at this place and I have learned to just deal with the crazy wrongs they do to us...besides any job you have you will deal with things...
I know most people will say it is the holidays...that most people get depressed when the holidays comes around..but not me...I love the holidays especially Christmas...I figured it had to be because of the anniversary of my brother dying in Aug and the anniversary of the death of my nephew on Dec 17...Last year was not too bad...but then it hit me that it is almost Christmas and again we may loose another family member around the holidays...This could be it...I am so tired of loosing people we love around the holidays...
As I drove home from work I was talking to God and I pleaded with him...Please God when the time comes for me to go home...Please don't take me around the holidays mainly Christmas...I don't want to leave a bitterness for my kids....I want this holiday to be wonderful as it should be...
I guess I am human just like anyone else and I go through the sad days...I decided to take a few days off from work and just gather my head and heart together...the kids are off from school for a week..so...I will try to get the house cleaned up and ready for the holidays and maybe take the boys shopping...the eldest is coming home also for the week..
You know God works in such wonderful ways.......as I write this blog I open an email from my Mom...and God just speaks to me so clearly....I could have just deleted this whole blog...just with the click of a button and no one would have been the wiser...but...it is such clear proof that God is there for us...that he sends us his guidance in such ways that we can't help but want the rest of the world to see.......This is the email...it is long...but..it was just what I needed to pull me out of this feeling sorry for myself....
I’d just returned from a great visit to a friend in Oregon when I got my brother’s voice message. First, he said he looked forward to hearing about my vacation, and then he added that he’d had a routine colonoscopy that revealed a tumor – a cancerous one – and he needed immediate surgery. I felt the jolt of dread that comes with such news, and all I could think was why now, why him…and why me?
In the past few years I’d dealt with my mother having and recovering from a small stroke and having her toe amputated for melanoma, from which she recovered, my therapist getting lung cancer and dying, my brother being in the hospital with a heart infection, my father dying, and now my brother's new health crisis. Throughout all of my family's turmoil, I'd been a rock, the one standing strong and providing comfort. But even rocks get ground down to storms, and now I felt like the tiniest of pebbles, unable to support myself, let alone my family. Why, in God’s name, was this happening to me, and to them?
Then, for no reason that I know of, I turned that phrase around in my head and heard myself ask, "Why not me?" Immediately, I felt better.
“Why me?” is the question of someone who feels helpless and under attack from unseen forces. It is the stressful mindset of a victim who anxiously scours the horizon in anticipation of another volley, all the while crouched in a tense, defensive position. It is the experience and posture of a person under siege.
Asking “why not me?” is a simple but powerful shift in focus to a perspective of accepting life as it comes from an upright posture, a position of dignity.
From this new stance, I could calmly contemplate the numerous insults, injuries, and mishaps that befall people around the world every minute. On reflection, it only made sense that, given the laws of luck and probability, I would get my share of such miseries, just like everybody else. The facts that my father died in his sleep at age 90, my mother was still driving and going to the theater at 87, and even that my brother was ill at 52 actually began to feel like blessings, given the poverty, famine, virulent disease, natural disasters, and human violence that afflicts so much of the world’s population.
I mean, no member of my family had been in a serious car accident, been the target of senseless violence – or even sensible violence, if such a thing exists. We are not, nor have we ever been, destitute. We are educated. We have insurance. Life for us is not bad. It is hard at times, but that is life.
Seeing my family’s medical woes as likely, rather than random, life events freed me from the horrible feeling that I was being singled out for excessive misfortune. Unlike Job, God was not abandoning me on a whim. So instead of wailing against God, I turned to God for support and comfort. God wasn't visiting ills upon me, but is always there for me when the ills of life knock at my door. I know there are people dealing with far more than I, with far fewer worldly resources to fall back on. Sure it is scary, and my brother’s surgery will be painful and life-altering, but the chances are excellent that he will recover to lead a full life.
Simply seeing my situation as one of the natural freak twists and turns that life delivers, instead of as a personal insult, changed me. Now I could be a mature adult, not the helpless victim of an unseen assailant. Inserting the tiny word "not" into the equation “why me?” altered my reality in a most powerful way: recognizing that a certain amount of misery will come my way lets me accept life on its terms, instead of expecting it to conform to my own – unrealistic – ones.
I’m not saying I like or welcome pain – not at all. But I accept that it is part of the whole range of colors, moods, feelings, and experiences that are a part and parcel of being a human being and living a full life. If I expect otherwise, not only will I be sorely disappointed, I’ll be emotionally unprepared to deal with life. Like someone who struggles against ropes that bind them, only to make them tighter and more restrictive, I will suffer more the more I struggle against life’s hardships.
Moving with the current of my life, rough as the waters were, taught me to lean into God and trust that I would eventually land on solid ground. I learned to befriend my struggles, and work with them—and God.
Because who among us doesn’t need another friend in time of need?
Note to God...Thank you Lord...thank you for that kick in my butt...thank you for my mom who you use so very wisely to push me in the right direction and pull me out of my pity party...thank you for my family...thank you for being healthy and being able to do the things I can do...Thank you for my blog friends who with problems of their own take the time to show their love and prayers for silly goose like me....Thank you Lord in Jesus your only son's name.......Love "AKA" SammyJo | | Posted by SammyJo at 12:22 PM - | |
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Tuesday November 14, 2006
Feeling better today I guess...of course the heart takes time to heal and heal it shall do....
Speaking of hearts healing..I want to say my prayers are with my friend LookinforLucy..She has lost someone that she loves and I would appreciate if all who by chance read my blog please say a prayer for her and her family...She is a special person and was the first person who I met on here and she just took me under her wing and is helping me to fly...which I seem to notice she has and is doing for others on this blog...So keep her in your hearts...
I have to say yesterday was a pretty good day or should I say evening...I picked up my 2 younger boys from school...we continued our selling of our tickets for our band trip...I had been thinking a lot lately of old times..of all the memories of times of good and bad...but nevertheless memories that are with me forever and I started to wonder do I give my boys those kinds of memories....I know we do things well shall I say done things in the past to make memories...but just simple things that make memories so special..
Lately we don't do too much..well we have gone to football games which has been awesome i must say...but..my middle son is a different sort of person and it is not always what he likes to do...but I know that there is one thing he really has his heart set on these days and that is a puppy...an Siberian Husky...which is really hard to find around these parts since it is really humid here not great for those kinds of dogs...anyways..we came across a puppy the other day at the petsmart store and I found out where they got the puppy....
So, today after selling tickets I told him we were taking a small adventure and went on to the town that may have the puppies...our luck there were no more but they lead us to some people who may have some....well our little drive got us lost for about 10 mins but we reached the people's house and oh my the puppy they still had was so precious...but not for sell...they were keeping it...but they have a gentleman who can't seem to afford one of the puppies he got from them and may have to bring it back...so this Saturday we shall find out and just maybe we shall have ourselves a new puppy well my middle son will have his puppy...we shall see...
But the whole experience was just great...just seeing the look on his face and the youngest boys face when they saw the puppy...just being together and doing something different instead of the norm of every day...But on this day my day off from work I decided to give them a little adventure....
The simplest of things can make the heart so full.........
| | Posted by SammyJo at 2:01 PM - | |
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