Exhaling by SammyJo

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Exhaling

Thursday January 18, 2007

Winter and Rain...

I do think winter has finally arrived.....

It has been cold around here..too cold for my old bones...lol..a few days ago it was 32 degrees..and that is here in Louisiana...lol not only cold..but rain...it has been raining for like 4 or 5 days...just real muggy...

One good thing about it all....is that I am home at nite with my kids through all this cold and rainy weather..it is wonderful..I don't miss that place one bit...

My youngest son..just loves that I am home..but my middle son..well he just don't like it too much...lol..he even said so...he told me he got used to me not being there at nite...but I know exactly what he means..Mom..is now here to stop him in his tracks..lol..lol....

I got a phone call the other day from the place I used to contract out to interpret for the deaf...I was in total awe...because I was thinking of calling her the boss about doing it again...well she told me that a little birdie told her that I was not working at the store any more..I told her I was on leave at least for now...she asked me if I were interested in interpreting again..they could use me...and they needed me next week in a school here in my own town to interpret for a young boy...I told her I surely would like to get back into it again..but not full time..because of my famiy..she fully understood...That is one good thing about contracting..you pick and choose when you want to go...

So...yes..I took the job for next week and then again today I got a call on my machine..needing me to go on another job...God is good....I can still bring in some extra money...work during the day....and at my conveyance...not putting my kids my family on hold anylonger...

Things are not perfect..and I am still a long way from finding the answer to many things but..I have God...and many of my friends here backing me up...

Oh yeah..guess what I did today...I text message my hubby and told him to have a good day...and that I loved him...Big deal..huh???...Well Yes..it is...with all this weather I haven't' been able to make a real date with him..but..it is in the works..I look forward to it and so does he...Thanks LFL...

And you know something else..my friend..the guy..well..the other day when I talked to him..he was putting up their supper..and putting some aside for his wife..I told him to put a little note...just saying that he loved her..to put it with the food..that way when she would arrive home and open that microwave she would see it..at first he told me it would make no difference..that she prob would just toss it aside..but I told him that maybe so..but..she will see it..and I just believe it will make a little difference..that the smallest of things make the biggest of impacts....Well he did take my advice and put that note for her...I know..maybe it is none of my business..but I do care..and I can't just ignore him or her...

This is something I used to do all the time..with my hubby and my kids..leave little notes...but somehow along the way..it just got lost..until I had a few friends here remind me of it....

___________________________________________________________________

On another note..a sad one..My aunt..my mom's baby sister who has the brain tumor...well she has gone into a coma...I went to see her today....It was so sad..to be there with her and not have her open her eyes and look at me with that smile...I talked to her..I held her hand..and I brushed back her hair....

I told her that I loved her..How proud I was that she was my aunt..how proud I was to be part of such strong women...I've have said it all before..but..somehow..it just felt right to say it at that moment....

I know..it means she will soon leave us and go home...I just pray that my mom's strength continues to back her up...she is so strong...but..she has endured a lot these past 4 years...heck these past 15 years....

I do ask for your prayers for my mom..and for my aunt for all of us...

Ok..I think I've tired your eyes out enough...I pray that all of you have safe and warm days..and that they are blessed...

Love

SammyJo

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Posted by SammyJo at 8:32 PM - 3 Comments Add a Comment

Sunday January 14, 2007

The Oh So Strange Mind....

First off..I need to thank all my friends who gave me their true honesty and wonderful advice about my last post...

Life is so darn hard...Just when you think you've gotten it figured out..boom..you are right back in another situation...Yeap..that old evil one surely doesn't give up...

Sometimes I feel like...the hell with it all...no more trying..no more being good..just go with the flow..and let them all do as they please...but then again my heart loves them all so....

But..my mind..my mind..I feel as though I am loosing it sometimes...I feel as though I am fighting a loosing battle...I think they really need help..but then I realize..maybe..just maybe.it's not them who needs the help...It's Me who needs the help....

I need to stop trying to make everything so damn perfect!!!! I can't force no one to be what I want them to be...even though I know it is the best for them...I get so hurt and disappointed when they don't meet my expectations..it only hurts me...I am not perfect..hell no..I am so far from perfect that it is pityful...but..then again that is why I guess I try so hard with them all...

It would be so nice to not have a worry in the world...like a child...not to care about anything but myself..only myself..yeap...that is selfish...Not to worry about bringing that old feeling back to my marriage..or if the kids will do right and keep on the right track with God with it all..

To be that little girl again...sitting on my mom's lap watching TV...or sitting on the floor waiting for my snack and drink....which every time she brought it to me..she would say ok now SammyJo..don't spill it..and I would say.."I won't"...and guess what???..Yeap you guessed it....I spilled it..each and every time...But..what would she do???..she would go and fill up that glass again for me and no this time I didn't spill it...lol...

Or to be that lil girl..who climbed to the top of that shelf in the old Western Auto to get that big old doll.."Raggedyann"...and just plead to have her...who promised to dance with her...sleep with her...to just love her for life..in which I surely did.....

Who couldn't go to sleep at nite unless she had that goodnite kiss from mom...who loved to make believe she had a school of handicap children and gave each a name..and surely brought them to school with her and made sure each were taken good care of...who loved to climb trees with the guys...and ride her bike through the muddy waters..and build mud castles...

To be able to gather the freshly cut grass and build a house to play in...and if it were not big enough could just add more grass...to look inside the clothesline poles and find bird eggs or even better a newly born baby bird...

Yeap..to be young again..when we thought everything was so hard..in fact it was so simple and so innoncent..why then oh why can't it be that way for our kids...Duh..I know better than to ask that question..I just answered it with all the things I did as a child...Our kids don't do those sort of fantasy things...their fantasy is X-Box..cell phones..fast cars...Computers.....

When I thought I was loving my kids by giving them all these things..I was in fact taking away so much innoncense and imagination from them...and now it may be too late...to give it back...oh I just want to run away..hide from it all...Now who is living in a fantasy world...LOL LOL...

Oh..I am just remembering my childhood and dealing with my life here in the present...so they seem to get all jumbled up together...yeap..Just maybe I am loosing my mind...lol...but..I guess I have to look at it in this way...it is still my mind...no drugs yet...lol...

So now I must end this exhaling for this day and do as my kids would say...Suck it up.....lol...

Best flowers ever..Hand pick by my youngest boys...Guess they do love me

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Posted by SammyJo at 7:14 PM - 6 Comments Add a Comment

Thursday January 11, 2007

How we alll make a difference

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God have to do this to me?" Here is a wonderful explanation! A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.
Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."
"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers. "Yuck" says her daughter.
"How about a couple raw eggs?" "Gross, Mom!"
"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?" "Mom, those are all yucky!"
To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!
God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.
Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

The sun is shinning so brightly today...I walked outside this morning to bring my boys to school and wham..that cold wind just chilled my old bones...lol..but..it is absolute beautiful today...Hope that your day is as beautiful...God bless

Posted by SammyJo at 1:33 PM - 1 Comment Add a Comment

Be Still

Be Still

Is not this the most beautiful PIC and statement you ever seen and heard??....

Funny How God works...just tonight..I told another blogger that my mother tells me that sometimes I need to be quiet and listen more...You learn more that way...and understand more..well how you like that..I told my friend this and guess whose email this PIC came from...yeap..my mom...LOL....it does have the normal prayer wish that came with it...but..I don't believe we really need the long email that came with it to understand fully the meaning..I believe the Picture tells all...

Oh Jesus..How I love ya...everytime I am in doubt...you send me a clue..a person..or just a whisper to let me know that you are here for me...never abandoning me..you always show me there is a brighter tomorrow...Thank you so much My Lord....I love ya "AKA"..SammyJo....

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Posted by SammyJo at 1:31 AM - 3 Comments Add a Comment

Wednesday January 10, 2007

To and Fro......

Trip to the college with my eldest son went really good...The good Lord was with me that day..for I had not gotten any sleep..another one of my nites where I don't sleep..busy with other things and before I realized it..it was almost time to get up and get ready to go...lol..

And that I did..showerd...shaved..lol...really needed it..lol...and got the hubby up and all the kids..hubby brought 2 younger ones to school..while eldest and I took off on our 2hour drive...on the way we chatted..listen to music normal things...

At the college I was able to see the culinary classes that he works in...it was really interesting...I met the teachers/chefs that taught him...there were a few things we had to talk about..and let me tell you one of them teachers/chef....talk and talk and talk...lol..this guy has got me beat..and that is really hard to do..lol..but it was all good...I learned a few things...that when it comes to money...college deans are like politicians...when their asked a question...they give you this big long speech but never answer the question..lol lol...

Eldest's gal was there of course so she tagged along for a little while..but then she headed off to work and of course we had to head home again...we ate some yummy Mc Donalds...Oh No..I broke my diet....sorry..but ya know what..that was all I had eaten this day..besides it was so yummy..lol..

On our ride home we had a blast...we chatted about so many things..I talked to him about his future..and I just told him to make sure of things before he jumps the gun...Now you all know I was referring to the girlfriend right..lol..shame on me..well let me tell you..this girl made sure to make the statement in front of me how she almost past out the day before..well she knew darn well first thought that would pop in my head would be..."Are You Pregnant"...lol..and yes I did ask her that..she said oh no..and then told me that is what the other people who helped her or the doctor..I can't remember which she said..anyway...she said that is what they asked her too...So that right there told me that is what she wanted to accomplish with me..Damn it..I fell into her trap...LOL LOL...

But that is ok...Mama's brain works...Well on the ride I talk to my son about that and asked him seriously if there was a chance she may be pregnant and he assured me there was no way..I told him in past times I would totally believe him but with his recent fibbing..I was not to sure..but again he reassured me..so all I can do is take his word for it...Please My Lord...Guide him to use the good sense that you gave him....

Ok..ok..please don't think our ride was filled with all this..it was really good..there was just talking like we normally do.. not arguing at all..well we did horse play on the ride...Yeap God was watching over us..we just played around so much...I think the other cars were worried we may run them down...lol...but it surely kept me awake...Whew..

After arriving home...I laid my glasses on the table and said ok to myself I will lay down just for a moment..I figure it was around 5 in the afternoon..well guess what..I didn't wake up until 4:30 the next morning..WOW...well around 9pm middle son had sent the youngest to bed with me..and that was it..Mama was out like a light...Thank God kids were on best behavior...I really need that sleep...So..today I really had a great day...I was so rested...and now here I am up late..that totally defeats my purpose..oh well...

Oh yeah..this ones for my Thankful Journal.....

I am so thankful for the day I spent with my eldest son...

Good nite to my Lord and to my friends...

Posted by SammyJo at 4:04 AM - 2 Comments Add a Comment

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Author: SammyJo
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