Exhaling by SammyJo

What a day what a week....

So..it goes like this..My eldest son came home at the early part of the week just to come home and spend the nite in his own bed..Yes indeed I liked that..he still wants to come home..yeah..The girlfriend thing well..I have just been letting that be..I am letting her hang herself..which she is doing a very good job at..lol..little by little he is opening his eyes to her..but I am finish with her..I don't hate her..but I just don't bother with her at all..

My middle son..well things with him seem to be going really good..his dog..well we are still working on him..lol..but..my son is getting so much better with him..they both went walking out in the field..and must have been gone for an hour..and when they got back it was so funny..the dog..was so exhausted..lol..he had a blast with my son...the dog laid on the floor to drink his water..then laid out on his back and crashed..was so funny to see..We actually got a moment without his gnawing on us..lol...

Now..my youngest..we are not so lucky with him right now..since the beginning of the week...he has not been feeling well..complains of his tummy and legs hurting..it seemed to pass..I thought just maybe he didn't want to go to school..which is unusual..as he really likes school..but..there was no other symptons..until yesterday...I kept him from school because of him having fever the nite before and the day of...well in the afternoon we went to get his hair cut..and I noticed he was almost falling asleep in the chair and when i felt him for fever..I noticed a red rash on his back..then i saw it was all over..it was not there no more than 20 mins before..I was like what the heck is that..is it the Measles??....Well you know how ppl are..everyone seems to be a Doctor...LOL..I was hearing it was this and it was that and to do this and to do that..lol lol..well..here I was 42 years old..could have been all their moms..lol...I looked at them and said thank you all so much..but I think I am on my way to the Doctor...and said my farewells...

Now..it was 5pm..the DR was on their way home..but..Not if I could help it..lol..There was no way they could tell me no..lol..so..here we are in the DR office..having to see the nurse practician..which i really don't like to do..but what else..her first reaction was that it was Strep throat.."Scarlet Fever" because of the Rash..I was like what..isn't that dangerous..well of course they don't want to scare the hell out of an already worried mom..so they try to smooth it out with it is ok or not really giving me an answer..But..I was confused..he has not been complaining about any sore throat..how could it be..then when they took the test for the strep..it came out negative..and get this..that darn girl never was going to tell me that the test was negative..I heard her tell the other dr..so when she so plainly didn't mention it to me..well I looked at her and asked her did i not hear you say the test said it was negative..and don't that mean he doesn't have it..Well of course that is what it means..but she said the test they have were new ones and they seem to be having negative results when really should be postive..Well doesn't that tell you something about them test...Get the hell rid of them!!!!!!!!!!!.....This is my child you are messing with..No..I didn't say it like that to her...lol..but oh did I want to..

To be on the safe side they wanted to treat him for strep..but..I had to make sure..if they were treating him for the wrong thing..could it not hurt him..???duh..she said no..the meds would help all..it was an antiboitc..but one that would help the strep..They also gave him a shot..which my poor baby..cried so...broke my heart..

Well today...the rash seems more mild..but his tummy hurts so bad..he was just crying so much..I called the Dr..of course had to wait for him to call me back..mean while..my little one started gagging..and then finally started Throwing up..Well here I was running him to the restroom..while poor baby was trying not to throw up all over..but of course it had to come up..and on my way there..well..Big dummy..I went and slip in it and boom on the floor my big old butt went....lol..yeap..now that I think about it..it really was funny...at the time though..it was not..it hurt like hell..but hey I managed to keep him standing up and he never hit the floor at all..Oh yeah..I am good!!!!....lol...

I was like on my way to the hospital..I was not waiting for that darn DR to call..but then my lil one seem to feel a tad better since he let it all out...so..i waited..Finally..that Dr. called..and I told him that I just don't understand what the heck is going on..How can he be hurting in the tummy and not have no sore throat if this is strep..that i really needed him to give me straight answers..So..finally..he said..well my son's throat was not really inflamed..and it sounded more like a stomach virus...but he didn't understand why he had the rash...Well..this is my diagnoise..I think it is the measles...My mom came over and she also agreed..it looked like German Measles..a rash under the skin...and being sick..How..I don't know..He has had all his shots...Well time will tell..he seems to feel a little better...but he is not completely out of the woods..I need to get some Red Pop...Old Remedy to make them come out...

I know this is very long..but hey been a while..lol..

Oh yeah...and I finally did it...I walked into Walmart..still debating if I should stay or not..well when I heard them paging all our workers out of our department to go to the front check outs..even though they are so short handed in there..well..the heck with that..my mind was surely made up..and I made my way to the office and Quit...OMG...you just can't imagine...how good it feels to be free of that place...A big old Mac Truck was lifted off my chest yesterday......I'm free I'm free....lol lol...I know it sounds crazy to you..but..that job really weighed heavy on me...it was turning me into someone I didn't like very much...I'v always let someone else or something else make my decisions about things like that..but this time..I did it...I made my own choice..and I took the time to do it....and I have no doubts or regrets about it at all...My ability to choose for a change...Yeah..baby...look at me...

There is a change going on in me...I just can't put my finger on it..but it feels good..I am getting older..but..yet..I feel good about it..I feel the love coming back to my heart..It is part of the old SammyJo but yet not..It is a new me...and hopefully a good and improve me...

There are things from my past that will never be gone..and should never be gone..but..learn to deal and learn to live and forgive...I know God loves me and I love him...and I know he will lead me in the direction I need to go...I don't expect it to be all peaches and cream and without many stumbles and falls..but I believe It can be good..

And so there you have it...I have had one busy week...not dull though..lol..and I have been trying to keep up with all of you...here and there..I have not forgotten about all my friends here..I love you all and will be visiting you...

Have a great weekend whats left of it that is ...lol..