My mother's day was absolutely wonderful...I received a cute lil basket with assorted roses...and a ring sorta like an initial ring but..it has the word Mom on it...then we headed off to eat buffet and did I fill my bellie...lol...I had all my guys with me..Hubby and 3 sons..it was wonderful...
Today...I went walking alone with my music...as I walked I thought about many things..When I hopped into my truck..I made a call to my hair dresser..and lucky me..she took me today..and I feel so new..lol..I love to get my hair cut..it makes me look and feel all giddy...
Now...for the negative part...my second call was to my female Dr..I am usually so up on my visits..because of a cancer scare 7 years ago..but he took care of me...but..I've always gone yearly..I guess with so much happening these past few years..I neglected to go like 2 years passed due...But...for the past few months my breast have been hurting me..I figured because of the monthly thing..but..then I noticed that my left one seems to hurt more and more...It really scares me....I was afraid to go to the doctor..the last few times I've gone they really put me through the ringer..saying my heart was bad and such..and it turn out to be my gall bladder...
I know my gyno. Dr..will not do that to me..he is really a great doctor...I trust him..I guess I'm just afraid of what they may find...My mother has had fiber cyst in the past in her breast..so..I am hoping if anything that is what it is....I guess I am just overreacting...but at least..I finally made the apt...Actually..when I called the lady was going to set it up for June..and I told her about my breast hurting..and that if I could see him sooner..and she did..she said come in tomorrow morning at 9:30am...So..I finally spoke up for myself..small it seems..but normally I would have just said ok..and worried for a month..but not this time...and I was not ugly...LOL..
So..if you don't mind..tonight..add me in your prayers...that all turns out to be nothing..and that my nerves don't get the best of me...I do so appreciate it...
Well..ok then..I think I will go and read some of your blogs...so far behind...Love ya'll..and have a great evening...
My first Words:.......Happy Mother's Day....to all my stream Friends...
Mother's day has always been a disappointment to me..Not..because of anything anyone else has done..but..because of my own self...My own self hatred...I don't think I ever realized it..but..every time it would come along I was always angry or sad...Don't get me wrong..it was always perfect in the sense of my own mother..but for myself..NO..
But...since my blogging and self exploring..I have come to understand why more and more..As POH said...we come here and we become ourselves...
I sat with my Mom about a week ago..I just spilled out my feelings to her and cried...Her words so wise gave me the strength to say..Yes..I do deserve forgiveness and I do deserve to be happy as a mother....
Yesterday..as I looked for a card to give to my Mom..it was like God handed it to me..the second card I reached for was the one...it said how my Mom was there to hear me cry..to hear me laugh..to hear all my crypts..to give me that extra push when I needed it..She was and is..my caretaker...my teacher..my friend..my kick in the butt when I need it...she is my shoulder to cry on...she is my strength...she is my inspiration...she is my Mom...and I am so proud and lucky to have her...
I love you Mom...Thank you for being there for me..through all the storms and the sunny days...
I am sure everyone is posting the same song..and I have posted it myself before..but..it is the song I gave to my mom..so I post it again with even deeper love....
Whew...I laid my behind down for what was supposed to be an hour nap around 5pm ish..and didn't wake up till 9pm..Thank the Lord my kids are pretty much well behaved..lol..It was awesome..I slept like a baby..I would have stayed in bed if not for needing to wash some uniforms for the boys..and needing to hang dry in front of a fan..lol..yeap..dryer still broke..but the repair guy said the part should be in by tom..Cost..$110.00..I surely gave him a call to make sure..that if it didn't work like the last part..what would I gain from it..I let him know I surely don't have money to burn trying out parts..that would eventually lead me to buying a new dryer..He told me that if it didn't work..he would not charge me for it..Whew..sometimes opening my mouth pays off..My hubby on the other hand well lets say he doesn't have much of a backbone lol...he just goes along what ever they say..Not me..I am not rude..I just state the facts..I am not flowing with money..lol...I am the bookkeeper of the bills..and sometimes I wish I didn't have the responsibilities...I get so tired of all things being on me..My mind gets so tired of thinking how to solve all matters..I have a good hubby who goes to work and does things if they are told.."Well most of the time..LOL"..but he is just not the kind of person who deals with things..or maybe he just takes advantage of me doing all these years..
It would be so nice..just to have someone say I took care of it..and it was really taken care of..Not..to have someone say we have a problem..what are we going to do about it..Definition..What are you going to do about it...Don't get me wrong..I am so glad that I am capable of dealing with the things..I learned how to handle many problems that come my way from a mother who raised 3 of us on her own..I watched her, a single woman survive and it help me become a stronger or shall I say try to become a strong woman like her..I don't think I'll ever be as brave and strong as she is..but..with what she gave to me and with the good Lord..I know I'll keep on fighting...
I think my nap occurred because of my busy day..I walked 4miles this morning..how I managed that..I just don't know..lol..guess I really want to take off the lbs..then home to shower and head off to my 14 yr olds school..to sit with the class for a teacher's luncheon..I enjoyed that..kids were pretty good..of course they love to talk in their high voices instead of their quite voices..lol..but..all went well..Tom..I have to do it again..but this time it will be with Kindergarten kids..my youngest's class..I just don't know..what is it..out of all the kids in the class rooms..I am the first person they call..LOL..Really and truly..I am glad they do call me..It keeps me involve with my kids..and knowing who they are around...So..maybe I will be taking another 4 hr nap tom..LOL...especially after watching a class full of 5 and 6 year olds...lol..
Oh..yeah..PWH..it may not be much..but..today after I picked the kids up from school..we headed off to the nearest Popeyes..yeap..supper tonight was not what you could find in the fridge..it was some yummy fried chicken and Cajun rice..oh yeah..and them good old biscuits...so..it was a surprised..in the middle of the week eating out..something we don't do to often since I don't work..watching my P's and Q's..lol..
More more..Yeap..you know how I am..can't stay on one subject at a time..to much going on in my head..LOL..along with the chicken..I actually watched Lost with my 14 yr old..his favorite show..and then I watched the news..something I don't do too often lately..to much on this computer..but..anyways..There is what you call a sub-storm out in the Atlantic...named "Andrien"I think that is what the man said..nothing to worry about..but..it surely is early..the hurricane season is not due till June 1..I know I know..that is only a few weeks away..but..man..I HATE IT!!!!...From June 1 till the end of Novembe I stay worried...I am not taking anything away from anyone else that has been going through some really bad things lately...with the Tornado that hit Kansas..man..that was so Sad..and with so many other things going on..the fires..and such..I know what they are going through..and what they will keep with them for a long time..never will they feel totally secure again..It has been 4 almost 5 yrs since Hurricane Lily changed our lives..and I still am afraid..I still haven't really unpacked...seems I'm ready to run..No, material things are not the most important thing..Our lives are..and I'm so blessed and thankful we were safe..but..it is hard has hell to get back started..whew..I just don't want to go through it again...I wish all the bad things that are occurring would just go away..."Ok..SammyJo..reality check"...It's just part of life..Take one day at a time...And have Faith!!!!...
Talking about Faith and having a good God..also on the news..there was a story about a hijacking of a car..at a gas station a man with a gun took this lady's car..but in the back-seat was her 13 month old daughter..Well..the guy left the car in this neighborhood wipers on and windows fogged...and a sister and brother saw it..and found it strange and investigated...they found the lil girl and took her in and called the cops..You know..most ppl would have just ignored the car and went on with their business..So yeah...God is good..he whispered in their ears and they listened...So now tonight this lil girl is safe in the arms of her mom..Praise God...
So..I guess that is all I have coming out of my head for the moment..well..of course there are lots more..but..I'll keep control of myself..LOL...Have a blessed Day tom..
Funny how life is... no matter how many years go by..things always seem to be the same...
A very close friend of my eldest son..which I consider him one of my own..has been so in love with this girl..and his heart has really been broken...I cried for him..
I have always thought that he never really listens to me..that he feels that my words or not worth paying attention to..but..a few nites passed..he talked with me about it..and I told him some of what I thought..I feel that he is loosing out on so much of his young life waiting for this girl while she dates other guys and tells him she really wants him in her life as a friend...knowing how much in love he is with her..I feel that is so selfish..I tried to say it without criticizing her..but..I feel she is using him..not for money or anything like that..but..for her own security... just can't put it in words what I mean..I know what I am talking about but just can't find the words to say it..I guess it is like..well..when she has others there then she is good to go..if not..then she wants him around..yea..that is it..and I feel he gets hurt by this...I told him it was time for him to know where he stands with her...and he did..
He actually listen to me..and he talked with her..but she broke his heart..and I feel so guilty..I know..it was best for him to know the truth..but omg..I feel so guilty..I am the one who told him to talk to her..Why oh why do I have to open my big mouth...
He can't understand why..why she doesn't want him..when she tells him how much of a good guy he is..and how much she wish the other guy she dates had some of his qualities..He told me..that he told her..."I'm right here, you don't need for the guy to have my qualities"..omg...He really believes that he will never find anyone else..I know many would say..oh he is young and will get over it...but now days kids take their own lives at the age of 20..I know..my nephew did..so I try not to blow off what they are feeling...I remember..how it felt to be so in love and have my heart torn apart so badly...
He said he will be ok....I don't think he would ever hurt him self physically but..in his mind..he is worthless..and that in it self is like dying...I surely let him know that I love him very much and that yes..it is ok to hurt..better to know and feel the hurt and heal his broken heart..
Talk about..make me remember how much it can hurt..really brought up old memories..I hate it..Whew..that will be another blog..lol..
Things with me other than this is good..Sun was so bright today..then around 5 this afternoon I hear thunder..I was like what the heck..and then there came the rain..out of no where..Amazing..You never know...but things are calm now..
Well I will bid you a good nite...and God Bless ya...
Many Blogstream members are there
already! Quotes from members: "It's like blog lite!" -- "I like the instant
gratification!" -- "Stop spectating, get in the game!"
If you have not joined in, you are really missing out!
