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Exhaling


 God and the Geese
 

There was once a man who didn't believe in God, and he didn't
hesitate to let others know how he felt about religion and religious holidays.

His wife, however, did believe, and she raised their children to
also have faith in God and Jesus, despite his disparaging comments.

One snowy Eve, his wife was taking their children to service in the
farm community in which they lived.
 
They were to talk about Jesus' birth. She asked him to come, but he
refused. "That story is nonsense!" he said. "Why would God lower Himself to come to Earth as a man? That's ridiculous!"

So she and the children left, and he stayed home.  A while later, the winds grew stronger and the snow turned into a blizzard.

As the man looked out the window, all he saw was a blinding
snowstorm. He sat down to relax before the fire for the evening. Then he heard a loud thump.

Something had hit the window. He looked out, but couldn't see more
than a few feet.  When the snow let up a little, he ventured outside to see what could have been beating on his window.

In the field near his house he saw a flock of wild geese.  Apparently they had been flying south for the winter when they got caught in the snowstorm and couldn't go on.  They were lost and stranded on his farm, with no food or shelter. They just flapped their wings and flew around the field in low circles, blindly and aimlessly.  A couple of them had flown into his window, it seemed.

The man felt sorry for the geese and wanted to help them. The barn
would be a great place for them to stay, he thought. It's warm and safe; surely they could spend the night and wait out the storm.

So he walked over to the barn and opened the doors wide, then watched and waited, hoping they would notice the open barn and go inside.  But the geese just fluttered around aimlessly and didn't seem to notice the barn or realize what it could mean for them.

The man tried to get their attention, but that just seemed to scare
them, and they moved further away.

He went into the house and came with some bread, broke it up, and
made a bread crumb trail leading to the barn.  They still didn't catch on.
 
Now he was getting frustrated. He got behind them and tried to shoo
them toward the barn, but they only got more scared and scattered in
every direction except toward the barn.

Nothing he did could get them to go into the barn where they would
be warm and safe.

"Why don't they follow me?!" he exclaimed.  "Can't they see this is the only place where they can survive the storm?"

He thought for a moment and realized that they just wouldn't follow
a human.  "If only I were a goose, then I could save them," he said out loud.
 
Then he had an idea. He went into barn, got one of his own geese,
and carried it in his arms as he circled around behind the flock of wild geese.  He then released it. His goose flew through the flock and straight into the barn --and one-by-one, the other geese followed it to safety.
 
He stood silently for a moment as the words he had spoken a few
minutes earlier replayed in his mind:  "If only I were a goose, then I could save them!"
 
Then he thought about what he had said to his wife earlier.
"Why would God want to be like us? That's ridiculous!"

Suddenly it all made sense. That is what God had done. We were like
the geese--blind, lost, perishing.

God had His Son become like us so He could show us the way and save us.

As the winds and blinding snow died down, his soul became quiet and
pondered this wonderful thought.  Suddenly he understood why Christ had come.
 
Years of doubt and disbelief vanished with the passing storm. He
fell to his knees in the snow, and prayed his first prayer:  "Thank You,
God, for coming in human form to get me out of the storm!"

Posted by SammyJo at 6:23 PM - 6 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Do Ya want to know.....
 

 
You know what blows my mind????...Do ya really want to know..LOL...It's getting out the house only about 45 mins..and being in this house the rest of the day...it's getting on the scale and it's still yelling out..You're Fat!!!!!!...it's being broke ....and still yet...I'm feeling so darn good..so darn happy....LOL...at least for the moment...Gots to be the Lord...gots to be..my speical friends..gots to be my family...just gots to be me realizing what is really important...well at least for the moment....So..I'll sure take it even if it's only for the moment..and ya know what else...I'm sharing it with ya...I'm passing it on to ya...come on...take it...feel it..just feel the happiness..just for the moment..just for the nite and heck let it flow thru the weekend too..Think of what really is important...think of all the times before that bad things happened..but yet you still got thru it..and you will surely get thru this too..so let it make you smile to know..you will be ok..that God loves ya..and so does SammyJo....come on..you can do it...give me a BIG SMILE...not just on your face..but in your HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
Ck out this...it's wonderfu...love ya
SammyJo

Posted by SammyJo at 9:16 PM - 6 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 WHY COUPLES DONT HAVE SEX.....OMG SO FUNNY
 

Ok..now..This is too funny..I don't think I got it from one of you..if I did..sorry..but I just had to post it..Hope none of my post offend anyone..not meant to..just thought they were funny..LOL..
 
 
Dear Wife,
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.

The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:

6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

KEEP READING.......

=====================================================


TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't come with energy
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the motion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching TV

Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.

I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"

The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.




Posted by SammyJo at 4:45 PM - 6 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 Room 302
 

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital.  She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"  The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?"  The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302."
 
The Operator replied, "Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse."  After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone, "Oh, good news, her nurse has told me that Norma is doing very well, her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, DR Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday."
 
The grandmother said, "Thank you, that's wonderful!! I was so worried!  God bless you for the good news."
 
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome.  Is Norma your daughter?"
 
The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302.  No one tells me shit."
 
 
Posted by SammyJo at 4:24 PM - 2 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 Hello...and thank you...
 

 
 
 
First...I want to thank you all for the birthday wishes...I really did have a cool birthday...My youngest seems to be like me..in the sense he feels birthdays should always entail...a cake and presents..lol..and that I got..I am like Lookin..I love Tink...I already have the seat covers in my truck..so they added to me..the lil dice with her on it..and a key chain..and beautiful flowers..I love flowers of different colors...so..my birthday was really nice...Now I'm getting ready for more cake on Saturday..for my middle son who will be 15..wow..my age don't make me feel old...but boy does my kid's lol...my eldest son will turn 20 the following week..yea..the month of July is like so crazy for me..lol....
 
But..ya know what is really driving me nuts these days...??...lol..This darn computer...I've seem to be getting my programs back..lil by lil..but..the computer is not working nothing like it did before...don't get me wrong..I have dial up..so it is already slow..but..Jeepers!!!!!!...I am having the hardest time getting to places..Just to reply to a comment..it takes me sometimes 30 mins...and then sometimes I can't even get to the pages I want...I've tried so many things...but..I think what ever messed it up the first time..really messed it up for good..Darn it!!!..I get on here..and can be here for an hour and accomplish nothing..so..I've been just getting off..Fed up..oh well maybe that is God's way of making my butt get off here sometimes lol...So..if you notice that I've posted a comment on your page more than once..well..reasons this stupid computer...LOL..and please don't think I'm ignoring..
 
Ok then..I'll be back..hopefully..got to finish reading and commenting lol..and I've got to get to the bank..yikes..almost 2 got run..see ya in a while..
 
SammyJo
Posted by SammyJo at 2:16 PM - 2 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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  About Me
Author: SammyJo
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