This is just Great!!!...Love it...
Keep this by your phone for Telemarketers
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just soiled the carpet..."
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, are they married?, kids?, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my Goodness! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where in the world she could know you from.
5. After the Telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
6. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her Home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their Home numbers you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me, either!" Hang up.
7. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
8. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could come over for a visit.
9. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm recording this for radio broadcast."
10. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma and them?"
11. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.