So..my mind is really thinking..and I don't want it to hurt anyone's feelings..so..here I come ...just saying what I think here...just some rants and thoughts on some I know...
Sometimes...even the closest of friends can get aggravated with each other..but..sometimes...some can act like such children...games...games ...games..I'm no stranger to mood swings..for I have them myself...but...it just gets my goose when someone has a mood..and just acts like a total ass...I've done a lot of changing in myself...and one thing is that I don't want to play the flatter me...tata me game anymore...if you in the mood...and don't want to tell me why..then don't freaking come around me..better to stay away than to treat me like crap...especially if it has nothing to do with me...and if it does concern me..then freaking spill it..I don't treat you that way...and I surely expect the same curtesy...for..I may be changing in a lot of ways...but..I can only be pushed so far...BREATH!!!!!!!!!!
So..now..I've said it in the pissy mood way...next I will tell it in the more sensible way to the person....
Next on my list...This one..omg...
Please please...get a grip on reality....you are like so freaking out of your head...I really do believe you've missed your calling..."ACTING"....wake up from your fantasy world ...There was such sorrow and compassion in my heart for you...for the things I thought were true...only to find out so much were lies...unbelievable how a person can make such stories up..Pretending..is for storybooks..movies..and lil children...One would wonder...why would they feel so betrayed by another...well..when you've played such sick games...eventually you loose.....Hypocrite you are...
This one...I'll have to leave it up to God...
I can't help but want to kick myself in the butt...when I think of the time wasted on such ones as those...especially when someone else was in such sadness...and I had no clue of it...someone who was so sad in heart ...to the point of cutting on her body...having so much pain inside...to the point she broke...lost all reality for a few days...in spite of this...she is the real person...the true heart...for even though she is still in healing process...she still thought of another...of me...of what I've been going thru..she let me off the hook by telling me..that it was no fault of mine..that it was hers..that she kept it hidden..didn't want to hurt us..the ones she loves...Don't get me wrong...I know all too well how to put on the smile to hide the hurt...to keep the demons hidden...but..still..my heart hurts for her so deeply....She has been my best friend for over 30 years..and even though time and life has kept us busy and at bay from each other...we've always seemed to know when the other one was in need...always something inside would yank us..and there we were either showing up..or calling each other...but this time...I didn't hear the call...and I'm so sorry for it...I am thankful to God..for keeping her safe...for her loving husband and family who were there for her..and yes...we have talked about it...listening to her tell me of her trials...and her healing touched my heart ...She still has a ways to go...but..her words told me..there was a change...I've conquered nothing..compared to her...I am so proud of her...and I love her very much...
Wow...so many different emotions...thoughts..in one head...lol...it's got to be God who's keeping me from loosing my screws...lol....So God...many praises and thanks for keeping me together...for I know I'm nothing without you...I love you...and I thank you for loving me...
