I wish all the Beautiful Mothers a Very Happy Mother's Day...May God Bless you with all the Love that you have given unconditionally....I love all here, but I have to give an extra Smile to Lookin, June, POH, for the love and wisdom you have given me these past few years...Thank you ....
The video is the only thing I could find with the song I wanted for this occasion...
May sound so silly, but today, I opened my bible and said OK God, give me something to help with my friend about his fear of the end...so I opened it up...laid my hand ..and it laid right on Ezekiel 7:10..and this is what it said...
10:See, the day of the Lord! See, the end is coming! Lawlessness is in full bloom, insolence flourishes, 11:violence has risen to support wickedness. It shall not be long in coming, nor shall it delay.
And it continues....My thoughts about all that I read in this chapter was really mixed...I thought, is this God saying my friend is in trouble, or is he saying I am.........And then to top it off my friend text me..saying time is growing shorter..(OK NOW!!!!!!)(Speak to me Lord)...so I called my friend instead of text...and we started talking and I mention my lil adventure in the Bible, but didn't tell him all that I read....but...as our conversation progressed...Words out of my mouth came...I told him again...Stop searching in Fear....Go and feed your soul...Read the Gospels, read and search what God wants from you..he will feed your soul...I couldn't believe that came out of my mouth, so I said it again to make sure that is what God wanted me to say...Smile
The Bible surely can scare the heck out of you...and it is very intimidating....but ..then, I thought..it's intended for those who don't give themselves to the Lord...Yes, it is good to know the consequences...but, better to search for the ways to keep from them..
This is the time of year....I have a stir of feelings of unworthiness, so I can't help but think that God is working...that he is trying to kill two birds with one stone ..so to speak..with my friend and I...by his doubts..and fears...I help him and inturn get my own healing...it has to be...it just has to be...
I know..I may sound like a rambling fool..but I know what stirs inside...The only difference is now I've allowed God to hold my heart...and I know he will guide me and my friend....
I had a conversation with a friend the other day, and then today I read a few of Wordofhope's post...and it got me thinking and feeling and really realizing things...
My friend, is really thinking hard on the end of times lately..He knows the things he has done wrong in this life and is afraid it will cost him his soul..He seems to really be caught up in these preachers who talk of the end of times and they even give a certain date...
With all the things happening in this world today, I can understand, and I loose hope and faith at time also..But for some reason, I find my hope and faith thru others...like my friend..because of his fear I seem to find my faith..how odd..I hear his lost of faith speaking and mine grows stronger...
I told him, that we both seem to be searching, but his search seems to be in fear..and he needs to stop the fear and replace it with faith...I told him, did you not know that Jesus died on the cross that even the worst sins that you feel cannot be forgiven is forgiven thru him...all you need to do is truly be sorry and ask him for forgiveness..He told me he knows this and he has done this...but still fears...and my words to him were that he needs to forgive himself, and to truly accept the forgiveness of God...I told him what a special person here told me once...it may not be in the exact way..but this is it.."Do you think you are above God??..then who are you to not forgive yourself, when the Lord himself has already forgiven you"...
As with my friend, I see so many others focusing only in the fear of what is to come...It seems they only see the signs of the beginning of the end...but...are so blind to the wondrous signs of Hope..Faith..Love...that the Lord is showing us also...Don't get me wrong...I see all too well the horrific things happening, and it angers me..and I question Him all the time...but..each and every time I do, He gives me hope and faith...
I see it in the clouds, in the ripples of the water as the wind blows across the fields in my back yard...in the rain...in the smiles and tears of ppl's faces...it's there in each and every person as they awake to another day to do what is necessary..All these things and so much more is God's way of telling us not to give up...that he is here..and there is Hope and Love and Faith...you only need to walk his way and embrace it and live it...
No, it will not be an easy path, this I know.. but, giving up is not an option ..at least not for me...
So today, look around...look up..look at others...look within yourself...and see God's signs of Love...
My mind, and heart are so full of memories lately...I'm wondering if I'm soon to die...Nah..it can't be..it's just got to be getting older and truly appreciating all things that have come my way..
I start thinking of things and want to just write it all down..but jeepers...I don't think I'll ever end lol lol..so if you come across things that just don't seem to match ..well, its from different parts of my life or just what comes to mind...For instance...Last weekend when we had our day out at play...while eating at the pizza place, so many memories came rushing back ..from when we first went with the eldest as a baby up until the last one being a baby...I sat there looking at my 15 and 7 yr old and just admired everything...and I remembered a time when I was feeling so nervous and rushed ..thinking I had to have it so right..and now, I see it didn't really matter..Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed each moment...but I don't think I enjoyed it to the fullest that it should have been given..So as I realized this, I looked at my 15 yr old and I told him, one day, when your older, and have your own family, and you are out eating at a nice fancy place, and your kids are screaming for this or that, and as soon as you think you got it, one spills their drink, I want you to just take a moment and look at them, see this moment as a precious memory, a gift, and just smile and use your love...The look on his face ...was so wonderful, he smiled this smile of understanding...
And talk about memories coming back, whew...my eldest boy is moving out of the dorm at college, and into a house with a friend....(Breathe)...Doing this on his own...working, doing great in school and now going to take care of rent and such...my lil boy, (Tears) omg, he is really growing up, I am so proud!!, but, my heart hurts................I still see his lil face, his lil grin, his lil voice...I see him walking up them big steps on the first day of school, sitting at that table with his coloring books and telling me bye momma...I see him sitting in my front seat in 2nd grade crying because the lil girl he liked didn't accept his valentine card...I remember his proud day of playing his saxophone for the first time at a concert for all ..Oh and the first time he and his best friend got to sleep over...oh man, it was like the best thing in their lives...and I remember the fear in my heart when I drove away leaving him for the first time at a swimming party..His first kiss, no of course not, I didn't see it...lol...but he did tell me of it, and that alone made me feel proud ..for most boys don't tell their moms...Smile...Oh and how proud I was watching him in the all star band...and standing beside him as he received his senior ring...and then watching my lil boy walk up to receive his diploma as a young man now..
Memories shared with him as he enrolled in his new college, falling asleep in the truck while he sat in on meetings...seeing the excitement he was expericing with all this new college stuff all the while my heart was in such fear...and then driving away and leaving him there...knowing he was scared but didn't want to show it ..for he didn't want me to be scared....
We both have come a long way in all these years...especially in these past 2 years...But, like this lil book I used to read to him said...
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
Always and forever I love you my guys...
So many say it will get easier with the next one to let go...but, I say they are wrong, for it can never be easy to let go of a child you love no matter how many you have...each one is different and each one is a part of you...
With that, I'll close this post...and play a few songs that truly fit the feelings...
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